• Ramblings

    It’s A Cultural Thing

    September 29, 2017

    When I first joined my current company, I was introduced to this cultural thing for a staff who is about to leave the company.

    Money will be collected beforehand, and then on the last day of the resigning staff, we were asked to gather at the pantry. Then everyone is given a chance to say good things about the person leaving, and after each person’s short speech, people will clap. Once all the speeches are completed, a farewell gift will be presented and then everyone tucks into the snacks purchased. Over time I realised that the more capable and popular the person is, the more people will attend. In fact, it seems there is some unofficial tracking of the popularity of a person based on how many managers and peers are present at each’s farewell.

    I always find such practice a bit morbid. It feels like someone has died, a funeral is arranged and each one takes turns delivering an eulogy. As such, I do not bother to attend unless it is for a staff who was really capable and good. I believe they are saying behind my back that if I am ever present at a staff’s farewell, then that staff has definitely performed very well during his or her career here.

    I know it is a cultural thing but I still think it is very morbid.

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  • Ramblings

    Selling My Soul

    October 29, 2014

    It was harder this time round, maybe because I am happier here. Maybe because my boss is better than the last time. Maybe because I am most probably moving out of my comfort zone, and into the frying pan burning in the hot fire.

    Did I just sell my soul away?

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  • Ramblings

    A Little Reminder

    November 17, 2013

    It was pouring as we ended the meeting in Jakarta. Our local partner, after talking to the driver on the mobile, advised us to walk over to the next building instead of getting the driver to come over due to the deadlock traffic jam.

    There were a bunch of young kids waiting at the building. Our local partner talked to two kids, and immediately they opened two umbrellas. Using the two umbrellas, we proceed to walk over to the next building.

    The two kids followed beside us, thoroughly soaked by the rain, and walking bare footed along the poorly maintained roads, walking through the muddy filled potholes and trash.

    When we reached the building opposite, our local partner paid them, equivalent to a few cents in Singapore currency, before the two kids ran back with the umbrellas, presumably to await for more business.

    It is these little incidents that remind me how fortunate I am.

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  • Ramblings

    Thought About Holidays

    November 9, 2010

    I was thinking today that it has been sometime since I last went for a holiday. And then I thought about the whole holiday process.

    I need a holiday because I am tired at work. So I stressed over when I can apply for leave. After applying for leave, I rushed like crazy to finish my work before my leave. Then I go for holiday, and I am happy.

    Till I come back from holiday to find the amount of work waiting for me. I then wonder when is my next holiday.

    I mean why do I even need a holiday? Is it because I don’t like what I am doing and thus I need a break? If I enjoy what I am doing, would I ever need a holiday? I doubt so.

    Why then am I stuck doing something that I do not enjoy doing and wondering when is my next holiday?

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  • Ramblings

    Sheer Madness

    February 6, 2010

    If there are two words to describe the past three months, it will be ‘Sheer Madness’.

    It is sheer madness to work 12 to 15 hours a day. Not to mention I work at home too. The work just keep piling up.

    It is sheer madness to face new problems, new obstacles every single day. Before I could find a solution to the previous day problems, I am looking at new problems for the day. Every single day. Every morning when I wake up, the first question that goes into my mind will be, ‘What new problems today?’. Every night before I sleep, I sigh at the unresolved problems for the day, and worry about what new problems next day will bring. Every single day, for the past three months.

    It is sheer madness that no matter how hard I try, how flexible I am, how creative I think, how many problems I resolve, the client is never happy. And instead of assisting us so that the project can move forward and rollout in time, they throw everything at us, putting roadblocks everywhere, and just stop us from trying to do our job.

    It is sheer madness how much inner strength I had left after all these. I do not think that I still have such a large reserve pool of strength. Too many times when I am on the verge of throwing in the towel yet somehow I still press on. But the question is when will this reserve pool runs dry too?

    Sheer madness. When will all these end? When will I finally give up?

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  • Ramblings

    Managing It

    November 15, 2009

    So it will start this week.

    In the last couple of weeks, one of the things I realised is that everything needs to be managed.

    From managing my own management, to the client, to the people who is going to work for me, to the various departments within my company, everyone needs to be managed, and the way to managing each one differs.

    It is difficult, especially this is the first time I am working with most of the people that I need to manage. I have to learn how to communicate with them, the words that can and cannot be used, the tone etc. And after going through a couple of weeks, I can say it does not get easier.

    No matter how much I disapproved some of the people’s behaviour, or usage of words, or the attitude, I have to bite my tongue and think what is the best way to communicate to them. Like I told myself many times, trying to talk to stupid people and trying not to hurt their feelings by pointing out how stupid they are, is an art. I have to put my own personal feelings aside, especially when people keep trying to put me down, using hurtful words in an abusive tone. I have to control and manage my own emotions even though I know people thinks I am easy to bully. I have to keep telling myself that no matter how right I am, it does not count a single bit once I lose my temper. I have to keep reminding myself that I am above and beyond all these petty and narrow minded people, and if I was to step down to their level, then I am no better than them.

    I have to manage these people. And most of all, I have to manage myself.

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  • Ramblings

    Pressure Is Building

    November 1, 2009

    Presto 01755 Pressure Cooker CannerI spent the last week working till 9-10pm at night, often the only one left in the office. There are thousand and one things to do, and sometimes I do not know where to start.

    I have to learn things fast, and sometimes on the spot. I have to learn how to calculate the pricing, the necessary paper work for resources request. I have to go through the contents of the contract, other related documents and so forth. Since this is the beginning, I know very well that a lot of people’s eyes are on me, and starting well will give them the confidence that I can cope well, and able to manage all these. As such, I double, triple take on everything I do, to ensure I do not make silly mistakes. Sure, it is a learning process for me, but that does not mean I can make that many mistakes.

    At night, it is impossible to sleep well, the physical body is tired, but mentally, my brain has yet to slow down from all the mental activities it had undertaken for the day. This is something I must work on, to be able to relax before I sleep, as I will need to be alert and well rested for the next day. I kept telling myself that I need to stay focus and motivated, as I will need the stamina to last for the whole duration.

    I also figured that by blogging about my experiences on this, regardless of good or bad experiences, will keep me motivated and prevent myself from making the same mistakes again.

    The pressure is building, and this is only the beginning.

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  • Ramblings

    Bring It On

    October 19, 2009

    So the second gate is finally opened last Friday.

    The feeling was more of a relief than happy. Partly because it took longer than expected, the few months delay were really painful, and partly because I know the actual work starts now. I remember reading somewhere about asking soldiers which part of the war they hated most, and most of them said it is the waiting before the combat starts that they hated.

    The tedious and painful learning process starts now. Mistakes will be made along the way, bad decisions will be made, I just hope that I learn something from all this, and the cost that I have to pay for the lessons learn will not be too much to pay for.

    So I just need to take in a deep breath, grit my teeth and say, ‘Bring it on!’

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