A lot has happened recently. It was a calm and peaceful pond, and now it has been flooded, turning the pond to a vast lake, with choppy and murky waters.

I want to write about it, perhaps it might calm me down a little, and that a few years down the road, I can look back at this period. It always amused me when I read my older entries. But after thinking about how to put it down into words for the past few days, I gave up. I do not know where to start, neither do I know how to structure my thoughts and feelings properly. Therefore I decided to just put down whatever is in mind now in a list form. Anyone else reading this list will most probably has no clue to what I mean. But I do.

• I am not worthy.
• No such feeling for a long time. It saddens me this time.
• The walls have to be brought down because the time will arrive soon.
• To go, or to stay? Most probably it is a go, but first need to know destination.
• Sadness, lots of it.
• Life sucks.
• Intend to do nothing, and it will go away. I am not worthy.
• Time will heal the pain.
• Fear of being alone. Greater fear of being rejected, being an outcast.
• Why me?