2nd Sept 2010
Made another big decision.
More big decisions to be made in the months to come.
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Let Go
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I Want A Job
“I want a job that makes an impact to other people so that I can leave a legacy behind.”
I raised my eyebrows, this was spoken by a colleague who was known to be somewhat of a slacker. He is brilliant, but is widely regarded as someone who was not very ambitious, and thus only works the bare minimum.
“If I cannot get a job that makes me very rich, at least I want a job that I can create an impact. Like creating a computer application that everyone uses, or create the special effects for a movie like Avatar.” He continued.
I nod my head. I want a job that I am happy doing, and if I am unhappy doing it, I want a job that really pays me well. I had never thought of wanting a job that can create an impact, and leaving a legacy behind.
“Sometimes wanting and reality is very different. How many people can get a job they really want?” I replied. He sighs and nods his head in agreement.
And I sigh too.
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Keep Moving
The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place and I don’t care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard ya hit. It’s about how hard you can get it and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done! Now if you know what you’re worth then go out and get what you’re worth. But ya gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain’t you!
– Rocky Balboa
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Too Much To Ask For?
I am not asking for too much. I just want to be your friend, be there when you need me, and in the shadows when you do not. Always available to have drinks if you require, to have lunch and dinner with you if you allow me.
Is that too much to ask for?
If it was, why did you not tell me that when I said all these to you? Why do you have to hurt me, again and again? It was really a mixture of anger and hurt, and I know what is left now is hurt. Because I can never be angry with you for long. What is left is pain, a pain so great that I only know of two ways to numb it. One is to intoxicate myself, so I can get some sleep, to have a brief respite from the pain. The other, a more permanent solution, is to just end this miserable life of mine.
I am not asking for good things to happen to me, I just do not want the painful things to happen to me. Because, you know, I have enough of pain to last me for the next ten lives.
Is that really too much to ask for?
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Everything Changes
Everything changes. Does it not?
Nothing is forever. I guess after what happened, I cannot expect everything to stay as it is. I know deep inside that nothing will be the same again. Honestly, I can try my utmost to convince myself that it is possible, but who am I kidding?
With the passing of time, we will drift further and further apart, each of us pursuing the roads that we had chosen. Where once we travelled on the same path, step by step together, it is clear that our destinations are not the same. With each turn we both made, we moved further and further in the opposite direction. We may cross each other path’s in the future, but then the whole feel of it, will be vastly different from before.
And while you are still close enough to hear me speak, I would like to wish the best for you, and hope you will find happiness.
Everything changes. We only have our memories to cling onto.
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Saturday Morning
Woke up early on a Saturday morning. Pounded the treadmill. Weather was great. Felt really good.If only everyday was like this.
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What Else Are We Missing?
The Washington Post conducted a social experiment in January 2007. They had the one of the world’s greatest musician playing one of the most intricate pieces every written on a 3.5 million violin at the DC Metro station for 45 minutes.Hardly anyone stopped to listen during those 45 minutes. In the end, Joshua Bell collected $32 when just a few days ago, people paid an average of $100 just to sit and listen to him play in a concert.
It was a social experiment about perception, taste and people’s priorities. One conclusion from this experiment was quoted nicely :
If we can’t take the time out of our lives to stay a moment and listen to one of the best musicians on Earth play some of the best music ever written; if the surge of modern life so overpowers us that we are deaf and blind to something like that — then what else are we missing?
The article won a Pulitzer Prize. The article, aptly named ‘Pearls Before Breakfast’, can be found here.
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Life
The more I think about things, the more I see no rhyme or reason in life. no one knows why some things work out and some things don’t. Why some of us are lucky and some of us get…
– Bella, Notting Hill
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Passion
Came across a familiar looking name in a Tweet. Decided to google for that name. Google has been my friend for a very long time.
Google results confirmed what I thought. She was this popular lady in my junior college days. She was smart, pretty, nice and most importantly, she was a very good dancer. Half the boys then were drooling over her, myself included. It seems like she continued with her passion for dancing till now. She still dances, choreographs dance and found a career in dancing. She is married and with kids, and yet this passion for dancing continues to burn in her.
And then I look at myself, and thought of what passion was burning through me when I was much younger.
There was none.
Perhaps that is the problem with me. Perhaps what I am lacking now is the passion for something in life. Going through life without any clue to what I am doing, nor heading. Not enjoying what I am doing, or this life I am living.
I need to find that spark.
