• Ramblings

    Too Much To Ask For?

    August 18, 2010

    I am not asking for too much. I just want to be your friend, be there when you need me, and in the shadows when you do not. Always available to have drinks if you require, to have lunch and dinner with you if you allow me.

    Is that too much to ask for?

    If it was, why did you not tell me that when I said all these to you? Why do you have to hurt me, again and again? It was really a mixture of anger and hurt, and I know what is left now is hurt. Because I can never be angry with you for long. What is left is pain, a pain so great that I only know of two ways to numb it. One is to intoxicate myself, so I can get some sleep, to have a brief respite from the pain. The other, a more permanent solution, is to just end this miserable life of mine.

    I am not asking for good things to happen to me, I just do not want the painful things to happen to me. Because, you know, I have enough of pain to last me for the next ten lives.

    Is that really too much to ask for?

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  • Ramblings

    I Told You So

    August 5, 2010

    Not trying to sound like I am gloating, but I find it most apt by saying to you, ‘I told you so.’.

    Perhaps that is why you did not want to tell me what happened, because I already warned you about this. Do you believe he is really interested in you just because you had ‘good vibes’ with him? He was just making use of you.

    Knocking yourself against the wall once is fine, knocking yourself against the wall again and again is just plain stupid. Giving a reason like ‘This is the life I chose.’ does not justify your stupidity.

    As a friend, who is in a really unique position, all I can do is be there for you when you need me. But do not expect any sympathy from me, because I had already told you so.

    When will you learn?

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  • Ramblings

    Everything Changes

    July 13, 2010

    Everything changes. Does it not?

    Nothing is forever. I guess after what happened, I cannot expect everything to stay as it is. I know deep inside that nothing will be the same again. Honestly, I can try my utmost to convince myself that it is possible, but who am I kidding?

    With the passing of time, we will drift further and further apart, each of us pursuing the roads that we had chosen. Where once we travelled on the same path, step by step together, it is clear that our destinations are not the same. With each turn we both made, we moved further and further in the opposite direction. We may cross each other path’s in the future, but then the whole feel of it, will be vastly different from before.

    And while you are still close enough to hear me speak, I would like to wish the best for you, and hope you will find happiness.

    Everything changes. We only have our memories to cling onto.

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  • Ramblings

    Careless With Feelings

    June 28, 2010

    He stares into the night sky. And thought of what was mentioned to him today.

    She is careless with her feelings.

    He sighs. She sure did. She took his feelings, embraced it fully, partake in it, enjoyed the sweetness of it all, and when finally confronted with the question, she rejected it totally. ‘I can’t help it’, she whispered.

    And then steps on him, and act as if his feelings for her never existed.

    She continues with her life, oblivious of his presence. Like a hunter who had just finished with her prey, she moves on, hunting for the next one.

    He stands in the distance, watching as she sniffs and sizes up her each of her new prey. He stands, suffering in silence.

    For while she was careless in her feelings, he was not.

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  • Ramblings

    Familiar Feeling

    June 20, 2010

    Laughing at the show on TV one moment. Crying the next.

    Trying to block out all thoughts. Failed. Memories come rushing back.

    In constant pain.

    Just want to stay in bed till Christmas next year.

    Familiar feeling. But it does not make it any easier.

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  • Ramblings

    Tired

    June 19, 2010

    So I asked. And I got the answer that I was expecting.

    Thousands of what-ifs ran through my mind. Images of you and me, vivid, conjured by an over-zealous creative mind, repeats itself endlessly. Sleep was not forthcoming.

    Kept slipping into denial mode, with thoughts of you actually contacting me, reversing your answer. Forced back to reality. Reality bites. And it also tore off a huge chunk of me.

    The familiar question ‘What have I done to deserve this?’ was asked again and again. If only I could escape to the realm of insanity, perhaps the pain will stop. How do one actually go crazy?

    This taunting, teasing, humiliation from Fate has to stop. Because I do not know how much more I can tolerate, how much more before I decide that I myself will put an end to all these. The pain, though familiar, gets harder and harder to endure each time. And I am running out of painkillers.

    I am tired. Tired of picking myself up each time, tired of going through the pieces, tired of sorting out my life through the pain. Tired of this mess that I am in. Tired of where my life is heading.

    Tired. Of everything.

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  • Ramblings

    Need You Now

    May 28, 2010

    Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor
    Reachin’ for the phone ’cause I can’t fight it anymore
    And I wonder if I ever cross your mind
    For me it happens all the time

    It’s a quarter after one, I’m all alone and I need you now
    Said I wouldn’t call but I lost all control and I need you now
    And I don’t know how I can do without
    I just need you now

    Another shot of whiskey can’t stop looking at the door
    Wishing you’d come sweeping in the way you did before
    And I wonder if I ever cross your mind
    For me it happens all the time

    It’s a quarter after one, I’m a little drunk and I need you now
    Said I wouldn’t call but I lost all control and I need you now
    And I don’t know how I can do without
    I just need you now

    woah woaaah.

    Guess I’d rather hurt than feel nothin’ at all

    It’s a quarter after one I’m all alone and I need you now

    And I said I wouldn’t call but I’m a little drunk and I need you now

    And I don’t know how I can do without

    I just need you now

    I just need you now (wait)

    Ooo, baby, I need you now

    – Lady Antebellum, Need You Now

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  • Ramblings

    Walls

    May 24, 2010

    For the longest of time, the walls stood firm. After years of carefully laying the bricks, the walls were solid, and to him, indestructible.

    There was no danger then when it happened. He had gone through it with others before, he was just providing a shoulder for others to cry on, a listening ear. He had gone through the same situation before, much worse actually, and he knew how it felt, how important it was to have someone there to provide a shoulder.

    Before long, a strange unfamiliar feeling overcame him. Was it … happiness.. that he was feeling? It was something that felt so ancient, that he was not even sure what it was. He ignored it then, partly because for the first time in years, he actually felt good, and partly because he was in denial.

    And one night, she said something that devastated him. He was puzzled and asked himself, why this feeling of hurt? Why this feeling of pain? He reached inside, and it finally dawned on him. Those walls that he had carefully built, were no longer there. She had demolished it without him even knowing it. His heart was lying there naked, and unprotected.

    He struggled to rebuild the walls, to try to protect his heart. And even before the cement dried, she came and demolished the walls again. This time she just smashed through as if the walls were made of air.

    He gave up. She was a demolisher of walls, his walls. There is no way that he can build walls to withstand her. She was just too devastating. He let her shoot a straight path to his heart. And awaits the results.

    The results were something that he had more or less expected, though he was hoping that for once, he might have a story that had a happy ending. Each indifference, each rejection without a second thought, each silence, he knew then that he had to accept the harsh reality.

    The first time in years that his heart feels something, was pain. The gut-wrenching feeling of having all his inner organs twisted and knotted, where death seems to be a much better option than this. Where the last thing he feels before he falls into sleep, and the first thing he feels when he wakes up, was pain. Pounding the treadmill, the pain was not from his lungs, or legs, but from his heart. Where the endorphins from the run, nor the wobbling feeling from bottles of alcohol, are enough to wipe out the pain she had inflicted on his heart.

    He mumbles feebly, “Ah, fuck it.“, though inside he knows that it the heart is too far vulnerable to follow those words. He only hope for mercy, for her to be as gentle as possible as she dismembers his heart.

    And when the heart finally recovers, if it was at all possible, he will build the walls again.

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  • Happenings

    Nando’s Singapore

    May 10, 2010

    Nando’s was introduced to me by someone when I was in Australia, and after tasting it, I made it a point to always have a meal whenever I am in a country which has Nando’s. I was really hoping then that one day it will come to Singapore.

    So it was with great joy when I saw one day on Twitter that Nando’s was finally coming to Singapore. This was hot on the heels of Wendy’s and Chili’s re-establishing their presence here in Singapore again, another two great tasting places which I tasted overseas but were not in Singapore.

    And as a way to promote Nando’s in Singapore, various contests were held on Twitter, which I had the fortunate to win one, earning myself a free meal for 4 before it was officially opened.

    So I grabbed my friends to go for the free meal. When we arrived at the outlet in Bugis, we were informed that the South Africa High Commissioner was present in the restaurant. Considering that Nando’s is from South Africa, and one of the very few South African brands to have a presence worldwide, I guess the South Africa High Commissioner must be pleased to have Nando’s establishing themselves here in Singapore. We were also told that the dinner was a simulation exercise for them, to iron out all the kinks before the actual opening. We were then shown to our table and given our menus.

    This was the first of the few kinks of the night. After we were given the menus, we were basically left alone without anyone offering to guide us through the menus. It took some time before we managed to get the attention of the waiter. The waiter who took our order was cheerful and his services were really quite good.

    I took the 1/2 chicken with the 2 sides, choosing the coleslaw and the Mediterranean rice. Our food came promptly, and after getting our food, there were a few more kinks. My friend ordered the Peri-Peri chips with Peri Peri powder, but it came without the powder. This was rectified when we got the waiter to bring it back so that they can sprinkled the Peri Peri powder on the chips. We were joking that they had purposely messed up the chips in order to simulate the scenario of getting the order wrong.

    My friend also find the corn too spicy and oily. She said the corn was literally soaking in oil. We later discovered that it is possible to ask for the less spicy version of the corn which was something that the waiter should have asked us. Another kink of the night.

    The Peri Soup that was recommended by the waiter was really good. Not too watery nor chunky, it was really tasty, and my friends all agreed.

    Next was what we came for, the chicken! And it was definitely worth the wait. The meat was really succulent, marinated just right with their famous sauce. It tasted as good as I remembered it to be!

    The Mediterranean rice was a disappointment though. It was bland and ordinary. The other side my friend ordered, I believed was called Peri’s Cous Cous, was much, much better.

    While we were enjoying our dinner, one of the staff came and check on us. We informed him about the disappointing Mediterranean rice and he said that the actual rice has not arrived in Singapore yet and the rice they used were not really meant for their cooking machines. We also mentioned about the corn, which he informed us that the waiter should have asked us how spicy we want the corn to be. He was quite chatty, and mentioned that they were actually quite surprised to have so many fans in Singapore even before they were opened, judging from the responses in Facebook and Twitter. He also mentioned that the next outlet will be Tanglin Mall, and they have aggressive plans to expand into the heartlands. That will be something to look forward to!

    Besides the kinks mentioned, my friends also remarked that the smell from the kitchen was pretty strong. Even though we were sitting outside, we could smell it and we wondered how bad it will be to sit inside.

    We were provided with Nando’s money in order to complete the whole simulation exercise. At the end of the dinner, we had some photos taken by their photographer and provided a goodie bag each before we left.

    Overall, it was a good dining experience.  I am pretty sure the kinks will be sorted to make it an even better experience. They, for sure, have a winner here. The chicken used is fresh, not frozen. There are no preservatives nor MSG used, and due to the way the chicken is being prepared, most of the fat are removed. It is a healthy and tasty meal, something everyone nowadays are very conscious of. Now, if only they will do delivery!

    Big thanks to Nando’s Singapore for the dinner!

    Nando’s Peri-Peri Chicken
    200 Victoria Street
    Bugis Junction, #01-85 to 87
    http://www.nandos.com.sg

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