I let it.
The alcohol had nothing to do with it. Truthfully I was worried about how I am getting increasingly immune to the effects of the alcohol. But then I had something else to worry about.
Like what will happen when I let the walls crumble.
I have mixed feelings when I realised it was not as bad as before.
As for the walls, they were rebuilt the moment I was home.
The walls that I had carefully and painstakingly built are crumbling, piece by piece. The unwelcome feelings are struggling to escape, to flow to the top again. I can feel it. I can sense it.
The crumbling has to stop. What has been chipped away will be rebuilt, even if I have to bleed every single drop of blood in my body to do it.
It WILL stop crumbling. I WILL make the walls stronger, thicker, higher this time.