To provide myself with some retail relief this week, I bought the LEGO Star Wars Tantive IV (Item # 10198) at a discount. A lot of people are saying this set is a absolute beauty, judging from some of the comments online.
Looking at the pictures of the completed set, it looks solid, and the minifigs of R2D2 and C3PO are a plus. I might buy another set, one to collect, the other to build.
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HBO was showing the movie Superman, the classic movie where Christopher Reeve was Superman.
Even though the movie was released in 1978, that is 31 years ago, I remembered vividly the day where my whole family went to watch it in the cinema.
I remembered my mother telling me about it days before. I remembered waiting in anticipation for it. I remembered feeling overwhelmed by the giant poster of the movie at the front of the cinema. I remembered I was quite confused at the end of the movie, wondering how Superman made Lois Lane alive again, as I was very sure she was killed. I remembered walking out of the cinema feeling very happy, and my parents asking me if I liked the movie, which I did. I remembered telling my parents that from then on, my name was Christopher. That name stayed with me till now.
I remembered walking happily along the road to take a bus home, with huge trees on one side of the road. I remembered the cinema was called Odeon, which has being torn down, with a modern office tower (right) now replacing it.
I realised the long lasting memories we have are always the ones that are filled with happiness or sadness. Events that fill one with happiness, or sadness, will always be remembered because of the huge impact on one’s life.
I should really write more about such memories, though I have many, many reservations about writing about the sad ones. It is like I am afraid. Revisiting sad memories will open too many cans of worms.
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Christmas is almost here, Barnes & Noble’s Nook is sold out for the holidays, and Amazon’s Kindle still does not ship to Singapore.
I mean, seriously.
So it will start this week.
In the last couple of weeks, one of the things I realised is that everything needs to be managed.
From managing my own management, to the client, to the people who is going to work for me, to the various departments within my company, everyone needs to be managed, and the way to managing each one differs.
It is difficult, especially this is the first time I am working with most of the people that I need to manage. I have to learn how to communicate with them, the words that can and cannot be used, the tone etc. And after going through a couple of weeks, I can say it does not get easier.
No matter how much I disapproved some of the people’s behaviour, or usage of words, or the attitude, I have to bite my tongue and think what is the best way to communicate to them. Like I told myself many times, trying to talk to stupid people and trying not to hurt their feelings by pointing out how stupid they are, is an art. I have to put my own personal feelings aside, especially when people keep trying to put me down, using hurtful words in an abusive tone. I have to control and manage my own emotions even though I know people thinks I am easy to bully. I have to keep telling myself that no matter how right I am, it does not count a single bit once I lose my temper. I have to keep reminding myself that I am above and beyond all these petty and narrow minded people, and if I was to step down to their level, then I am no better than them.
I have to manage these people. And most of all, I have to manage myself.
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Lovers come and lovers go,
Once they lived but now they’re ghosts,
Walking the streets they used to know like shadows.People disappear every hour and every year,
Sometimes I believe they’re here like shadows,
Like shadows.Who can you trust, in this place?
And whom can I put my faith?
If you’re real, then show me now,
Who you are.How can I love, without grace?
Shine a light on your face,
If you’re real, then show me now,
Who you are.Blowing like a secret wind,
Pouring on my naked skin,
Like a river flowing in the ocean.And when I turn to see your face,
I saw a joy I could not place,
Vanishing without a trace,
Like a shadow in the sun.Who can you trust, in this place?
Where can I put my face?
If god is love, then why the world the way it is?How can I love, without grace?
Shine a light on your face,
If you’re real then show me now,
Who you are.My ghost.
— My Ghost, Glass Pear
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I spent the last week working till 9-10pm at night, often the only one left in the office. There are thousand and one things to do, and sometimes I do not know where to start.
I have to learn things fast, and sometimes on the spot. I have to learn how to calculate the pricing, the necessary paper work for resources request. I have to go through the contents of the contract, other related documents and so forth. Since this is the beginning, I know very well that a lot of people’s eyes are on me, and starting well will give them the confidence that I can cope well, and able to manage all these. As such, I double, triple take on everything I do, to ensure I do not make silly mistakes. Sure, it is a learning process for me, but that does not mean I can make that many mistakes.
At night, it is impossible to sleep well, the physical body is tired, but mentally, my brain has yet to slow down from all the mental activities it had undertaken for the day. This is something I must work on, to be able to relax before I sleep, as I will need to be alert and well rested for the next day. I kept telling myself that I need to stay focus and motivated, as I will need the stamina to last for the whole duration.
I also figured that by blogging about my experiences on this, regardless of good or bad experiences, will keep me motivated and prevent myself from making the same mistakes again.
The pressure is building, and this is only the beginning.
