You can date someone who will treat you like shit. They’ll be a Scorpio or a sociopath and have an intoxicating energy that’ll suck you in. After a few months, you’ll have completely lost yourself, making excuses for their awful behavior and telling your friends, “You just don’t know them like I do.” Even though you know it’s bullshit and hate yourself, those rare moments of tenderness will keep you involved and make it feel worth it. Hopefully, you’ll hit a wall with this person and tire of the emotional manipulation, abuse and misery. You’ll make a clean break and feel like you’ve woken up from a nightmare. Later, people will tell you that “everyone has that type of person in their life at some point. You know, the kind that abuses you and leaves you wanting the next kick.” Hearing this is supposed to make you feel better about everything. Or maybe it’s not. It’s hard to tell. What you do know is that you’ll never blame yourself for what happened. You’ll always blame them.
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Movies and LEGO
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Apple AirPlay
I hate clutter. Which is why I hate having wires connecting all my electrical appliances and gadgets. They are hard to clean, and they gather dusts. Also it is a nightmare trying to hide them, I mean how do you connect your rear speakers for your TV and PC in a 5.1 or 7.1 speakers setup?
So it is with great delight that Apple announced AirPlay as one of the major features of their iOS 4.2.
What is AirPlay?
AirPlay is Apple’s way of letting you play your music and videos on bigger and better speakers and screens around your house, without plugging anything in. Imagine this, you stream music and videos from your PC, to your TV, hifi, speakers, portable devices etc, all done without any wires. Neat right?
To test out whether it really works, I went to buy a Apple’s AirPort Express. What it does is that you get it connected to your home’s wireless network. Then you plug in your speakers, hifi etc. It has a USB port, a Ethernet port and a socket for audio cable. I decided to connect my JBL speakers to the AirPort Express using the audio cable.It was not as easy as plug and play, I did encounter the following problems:
1) I was using the legacy 128bit WEP protocol to secure my wifi. Somehow the AirPort Utility, which is used to configure the network settings of the AirPort Express, just could not recognise the HEX password. In the end I had to switch to WPA before AirPort Express could recognise the password.
2) Each time a wrong setup done at the AirPort Utility was committed to the AirPort Express, I had to manually hard reset the AirPort Express before my AirPort Utility can detect the AirPort Express again. Due to the problem I had with the WEP protocol, I had to perform this hard reset a couple of times.
3) When my AirPort Express was finally setup correctly, my iTunes just could not stream music to the AirPort Express, throwing an unknown error. I initially thought it was because of the audio cable, but after changing to another one, it was still throwing an unknown error. On a hunch, I disabled my Windows Firewall, and finally I could hear music streaming from my JBL speakers! The funny thing was that I allowed all Outbound traffic in my Windows Firewall and disabled all Inbound traffic. So why is it that the AirPort Express need to make an Inbound connection back to my PC?
Despite the problems encountered, the feeling of hearing music streaming to my JBL speakers, controlling it using my iPad via the free Apple application, Remote, was really surreal and definitely worth the trouble of setting it up. I will be going to grab a few more AirPort Express, so that I can have music streaming throughout my house.
Now if only I can control my house’s lights and electrical appliances the same way too!
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Not All Those Who Wander Are Lost
All that is gold does not glitter,
not all those who wander are lost;
the old that is strong does not wither,
deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
a light from the shadows shall spring;
renewed shall be blade that was broken,
the crownless again shall be king.
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Character and Fate
So I was watching the last episode of this Hong Kong TV series. The three main characters were at a crossroad. One wanted to resign from his research position in the hospital to start his own private practice, the other a nurse who was wondering if he should follow his girlfriend to Singapore to help out with her father’s business.
The last main character told them bluntly that within less than a year, the one who wanted to start his own private practice will fail. This was because he likes research, and hates socialising or networking, and thus will not be able to attract business to his clinic. The other will quit Singapore, because he had no interest in business, or even have any idea of how to run one.
One year later, the one who started his own private practice was doing very well, and was about to open another clinic. The other became a successful CEO. They all put it down to the blunt and honest assessment of the third character, inspiring them to succeed and overcome their shortcomings.
At the end of the day, the message was that our character determines our fate, and if we can change our character, then it is possible to change our fate.
Is it really that simple? Are there no other variables in the equation? What about luck? What about factors that are beyond our control? Like weather, the family we are born into, or some divine intervention?
I had always believe that if I work hard enough, or want something bad enough, I will get it. What happened last year made me realise that there are also various other factors involved, variables that I have no control over. But I do not think that just because of these other factors, I am going to stop working hard if I want something. I want to tell myself that at least I had tried, and gave my best. If it is still not enough to get what I want, at least I tried.
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Know What You Want
“The indispensable first step to getting
the things you want out of life is this:
decide what you want.”
– Ben Stein -
Chasing Pavements
Chasing Pavements – Adele
I’ve made up my mind, don’t need to think it over
If I’m wrong I am right, don’t need to look no further
This ain’t lust, I know this is loveBut if I tell the world, I’ll never say enough
‘Cause it was not said to you
And that’s exactly what I need to do if I’d end up with youShould I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements
Even if it leads nowhere?
Or would it be a waste even if I knew my place
Should I leave it there?
Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements
Even if it leads nowhere?I build myself up and fly around in circles
Wait then as my heart drops and my back begins to tingle
Finally could this be it?Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements
Even if it leads nowhere?
Or would it be a waste even if I knew my place
Should I leave it there?
Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements
Even if it leads nowhere?Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements
Even if it leads nowhere?
Or would it be a waste even if I knew my place
Should I leave it there?
Should I give up or should I just keep on chasing pavements
Should I just keep on chasing pavements?Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements
Even if it leads nowhere?
Or would it be a waste even if I knew my place
Should I leave it there?
Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements
Even if it leads nowhere? -
Reflections 2010
As I sit in the cramped seat on the plane thousands of feet in the air, and after having the usual bland airplane food, I decided to do some reflections for the year 2010.
2010 was not a good year in any way for me. It was a year of hardship, road blocks and setbacks. It was a year of closures with no new openings in sight. It was a year of sadness with a little dash of happiness sprinkled throughout the days.
In terms of work, the previous few years of relatively smooth sailing was finally brought to a halt. Obstacles were encountered and I was find lacking when it matters most. On hindsight I could have performed better but I most of it was due to me lacking in experience. It got slightly better in the second half of the year but which also got me thinking if this is the career path that I really want to pursue. There was a few points throughout where I almost quit without a job, but in the end the thought of unable to get a job for a few months made me drop the idea. I think in order to move forward the next year in my career, I really need to sort out what I really want to do. The sad thing is I have absolutely no idea as of now.
I am not a man of closures, as in I do not need to perform literal acts, like burning photographs or deleting all messages, in order to close off chapters in my life. However 2010 was considered a year of closure for me, finally ending a massive chapter in my life. Ending chapters in life usually mean writing new chapters, unfortunately in this case for me, there were none. There was briefly a new chapter that was almost written, but instead, it led to sadness and pain. To make it even sadder, I am still clinging on. I suspect in order to really write a new chapter, I need to sort out this mess, else I will always be stuck in this void, where a chapter had been close with no new chapter in sight.
I am not too sure what I could have done better. Perhaps I really need to control my feelings tighter, I really need to learn guard my feelings more. I do not think I could hold back my emotions once I let it go, and as such, the key is not to open my heart so easily instead.
Work wise I really need to understand this thing call perception. Smart and hard work comes hand in hand with the perception people have of you, especially your boss. You may work smart and hard, but if people’s perception of you is otherwise, then no matter how much you try, it is not going to work.
One good thing that I should continue the next year will be self growth. No people is going to be responsible for your own development and growing as a person is my responsibility. I manage to attain some self growth in the last quarter of the year, and I should maintain this momentum the next year, until this self growth thing becomes a habit.
A lot has happened in the year 2010, most it really unpleasant. But what does not kill me, is going to make me stronger. Many people will seek professional help, or goes into depression if they had encountered even a quarter of what I went through in 2010, but I survived. So at least that is something to be proud of.
I should write another post on 2011 new year’s resolution soon.
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Today
Was supposed to keep track of all the things I did today for every year, I started in 2008, but forgot in 2009. I am going to list down the things I did today for year 2010:
1) Spent morning and afternoon trying to rectify some work problem which ended me going back to office even though I am on leave. In the end, the issue was escalated. Time wasted.
2) Had chili crabs and seafood with family. First time they sitting in my car too.
3) Found out more evidence from Facebook what I suspected. Why am I still clinging on?
4) Spent night listening to Christmas’ songs from Mariah Carey and wishing someone was with me.
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Six Keys to Being Excellent at Anything
From Harvard Business Review:
1. Pursue what you love. Passion is an incredible motivator. It fuels focus, resilience, and perseverance.
2. Do the hardest work first. We all move instinctively toward pleasure and away from pain. Most great performers, Ericsson and others have found, delay gratification and take on the difficult work of practice in the mornings, before they do anything else. That’s when most of us have the most energy and the fewest distractions.
3. Practice intensely, without interruption for short periods of no longer than 90 minutes and then take a break. Ninety minutes appears to be the maximum amount of time that we can bring the highest level of focus to any given activity. The evidence is equally strong that great performers practice no more than 4 ½ hours a day.
4. Seek expert feedback, in intermittent doses. The simpler and more precise the feedback, the more equipped you are to make adjustments. Too much feedback, too continuously, however, can create cognitive overload, increase anxiety, and interfere with learning.
5. Take regular renewal breaks. Relaxing after intense effort not only provides an opportunity to rejuvenate, but also to metabolize and embed learning. It’s also during rest that the right hemisphere becomes more dominant, which can lead to creative breakthroughs.
6. Ritualize practice. Will and discipline are wildly overrated. As the researcher Roy Baumeister has found, none of us have very much of it. The best way to insure you’ll take on difficult tasks is to ritualize them — build specific, inviolable times at which you do them, so that over time you do them without having to squander energy thinking about them.
