“There comes a time in a man’s life when to get where he has to go–if there are no doors or windows–he walks through a wall.”— Bernard Malamud
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Where Have I Gone Wrong?
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, “Where have I gone wrong?” Then a voice says to me, “This is going to take more than one night.”
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Recognition
I had this thought recently. What if sadness had embed itself so deeply into my life, latched onto my soul, and reverberates into the core of my being that it became the norm? What if I went through life without any expectations, or dreams, or aspirations, because I do not realistically expect any after years of dashed hopes and dreams?
What if one day I found happiness, will I still be able to recognise it? Will I still remember how it taste and smell like, feel like? What if I had completely forgotten what it feels like to be happy and let it slip past me unnoticed?
I need to remember how it feels like to be happy. I need to recognise happiness, again.
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Diablo III
And so it is finally here – 15th May 2012
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A Tinge of Regret
Through the myriad clouds of emotions, I could detect a tinge of regret. On both sides. We both are turning our heads, trying to steal a last glance of each other, even though we are already on separate paths. With each step, our lives moves further from each other, yet there is this nagging thought of ‘what if’.
When you open your heart willingly and without any reservations, you run the risk of forever stuck in the bottomless pit that is created. On quiet nights, you find yourself trying to answer the question ‘what if’, trying to find some sense and purpose as to why it happened, trying to make yourself feel better, trying to hold back the tears, trying to forget. And you realise the harder that you try, the worst it becomes.
Years may have dulled the pain, years may have clouded the memories, but it certainly doesn’t make it easier to go through such nights.
A tinge of regret? No. The amount of regret in this myriad of emotions is enough to, if stacked, go all the way to the moon. And back. Twice.
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Superman’s Fortress of Ice
Incredible right? It is like a scene from some alien planet, or a scene from Superman’s fortress of Ice.
In fact, this is somewhere on Planet Earth, the Cueva de los Cristales, the Giant Crystal Cave, in Mexico. It is one of the deadliest place on earth, and even with full suit protection, we can only stay inside for less than 20 minutes. Less than 100 people have seen this cave.
For more incredible pictures and source, please go to National Geographic.
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LEGO & Lord of the Rings
LEGO & Lord of the Rings = Please just take all my money already!
Just found out that LEGO will be releasing LOTR sets and minifigs. Initially there will be 7 sets released in August:
9469, Gandalf Arrives: 2 minifigs: Gandalf and Frodo, Gandalf on horse and cart with fireworks and snake in the back. I think the price was £9.99.
9470, Shelob Attacks: 3 minifigs: Frodo, Samwise and Gollom! Gollum looked great, hunched over with movable arms, a bit like skeleton arms but different. Shelob the spider looks fantastic and scary!
9471, Uruk-Hai Army: 6 minifigs: Eomer, Rohan soldier and 4 Urak-Hai. The set consists of a small section of wall, a horse with moving legs and a small siege machine. The wall can be joined to the Helms Deep castle, apparently, so this will make a great battle pack to extend the castle and build your armies.
9472, Attack on Weathertop: 5 minifigs: Frodo, Merry, Aragorn and two Ringwaiths on horseback. The set builds a small section of Weathertop with spiral staircase and ruins at the top.
9473, The Mines of Moria: 7 minifigs: Pippin, Gimli, Legolas, Boromir, a cave troll and two Moria orcs. The set builds a selection of sub-assemblies for mine walls, doors, pedestals etc.
9474, The Battle of Helm’s Deep: 8 minifigs: Gimli, King Theoden, Haldir, Aragorn and 4 Urak-Hai warriors. The castle itself is fairly substantial, complete with the ‘side door’ used to gain entry
9476, The Orc Forge: 5 orcs with a forge, various metalworking tools and weapons.
More about these sets can be found here. It seems like I have to get all the 7 sets in order to collect the entire Fellowship of the Ring minifigs. Well, like I said, just take all my money already!
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Chinese New Year
When I was much younger, I love Chinese New Year. New clothes, food, soft drinks, red packets, which kid does not like these? It was only during wedding dinners and Chinese New Year that I was allowed to drink soft drinks, and soft drinks served at that time were usually F&N Orange. This is why I still have a soft spot for this drink.
As I grow older, I begin to dread Chinese New Year. After the food, the soft drinks and the red packets, there wasn’t really much for me to do at my relatives place. My father would spend the entire day playing the customary mahjong, while the rest of us will be bored stiff. We usually end up watching TV. And we always stay till late at night, sometimes reaching home only after 3am. I will usually end up sleeping in my cousin room’s floor. I was tired, smelly and bored.
And to add on to all these, my relatives have a tendency to throw tantrums, even to their own brothers and sisters. People will come late, and when they arrived, their face was as black as charcoal. People will quarrel with each other, yes, on Chinese New Year. There was hardly any laughter, nor joy.
As I grew older, I was allowed some freedom. I was allowed to join my friends at the movies, or some fast food outlet after staying at my relatives place for a while. I remember I can’t wait to leave the place.
So when I stopped contact with my relatives (another story for another time), Chinese New Year became much better. Sure, there was hardly any visiting, nor any red packets, but I get to spend it with people I love, my family which really mean a lot to me, and people I really care about. The laugher, the joy that are associated with the Chinese New Year, were all coming back to me.
I think once you start to remove all the negative and toxic people from your life, then you will start to feel lighter, happier and living the life that it was meant to be.
Happy Chinese New Year everyone, and may you have no more negative and toxic people in your life.
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Changing The World
There are two types of people in this world, those who want to change the world and themselves, and those who wait for the world to change to suit them. This year’s new year resolutions is all about changing myself so that I can change the world, one baby step at a time. Next month will see me taking the first baby step in one of my new year’s resolution.
Thanks to you Steve. I may not change the world in the scale like you do, but I will do it, albeit on a much smaller scale.
because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.
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Sex Sells
During a dinner conversation, we somehow talked about writing a book and publishing it, and how people’s ego will be severely damaged if the book did not sell well. So I suggested writing a soft porn book instead, as sex always sells.
Back in the late 1960’s, a newspaper journalist wanted to prove that standards of literary and artistic taste were decreasing rapidly in the US. In order to prove his point, he had others writing a chapter each for a book, there will be no plot, no character development, no verbal skill. Instead there will be lots of kinky sex scenes. The book was named ‘Naked Came the Stranger‘. It was a bestseller.
You can read more about it here.
Which just proves my point, sex sells.